Okay!
First
Update Day post of 2015: for those of you who are out-of-the-know, every month
for the past year and few months I’ve been diligently (this is a shock for me!)
participating in the Big Dreams/Do You Have a Goal? blog hop hosted by authors MishaGericke and Beth Fred.
What
do the 17 bloggers share in common? We all have big, crazy dreams we’re sharing
with the world (at least) one blog update a month.
My
crazy goal—which isn’t too crazy
unless you know me and my super not-awesome-at-all procrastination—is to write
one million words-worth of completed stories. Because, like I said, huge
procrastinator here and I have trouble seeing promises through to the end…
You
can join us and/or cheer us on here!
My
big goal hasn’t changed, but I haven’t really started this year off on the note
I was hoping.
January
was a hard and sad month for me and it had nothing to do with recovering from a
wisdom tooth extraction. That, thankfully, went really smooth!
 |
| Look at the size of that cheek! Also fat lips. Hehe. But I got no excuse for that hair! |
No.
This month was filled with reflection. And a lot of tears pre- and post-Blue
Monday.
You
see I’m at a place in my life where I have to face one big fact that I’ve been
pushing back to the furthest recesses of my mind up until now: I don’t know who
I want to be.
It
only became glaringly obvious because I completed uni and my CV is abysmal, and
I don’t have any clue what to do next… Well at least solidly. I have no
contingent plans…well, not really strong contingent plans because Plan A is all
over the place.
All
I know and can be sure of is what I like right now, but I don’t have any
immediate career goals. Even with my writing: sure I fantasize about being a
full-time author, but there’s so much (and oddly enough so little) I have control
of.
For
instance I can’t control whether an agent offers me representation or how/when
my stories will be published (in the traditional sense). But I can control my
writing, starting projects and committing to “The End”.
Which
is why I REALLY need to get back on track. A.S.A.P.
Unfortunately
stories are completed by themselves.
And short of drugging myself through the
whole process (I do have tons of codeine left from molar extraction), I’m just going to have to suck it up and ride out every down and up, up and down. Still though I get that, it doesn't make it any easier to actually sit down and face the blank screen of the word
processor and that first line...
Did I mention I hate writing first lines?
Anyways after
doing a lot of thinking I decided to tackle my writing fear by first sticking
to a project. Choosing my WIP and riding out that dreaded first line…ugh, and
then hopefully falling into the happy place after the middle half of the book
onward.
On the reading front that's going much better than writing. So far I’ve been reading more than the one
book/week schedule. That’s great. Now hopefully
February’s Update Day will be more fruitful in the writing sphere of my life.
How
has your January been?
First lines are hard, but it's really important that you remember one thing: Your first line doesn't have to be perfect when you're writing a rough draft. In fact, I've found that my first lines are never the first lines by the time edits are done. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAs for not knowing who you are: I've been there, and the best advice I can give is that you write about it. Just for yourself. No one else ever needs to see. But you'll be surprised at how illuminating it is.
Best of luck!
Knowing that you don't know what to do is half the battle. I didn't figure out what I wanted to do (or even that I didn't know what I wanted to do) until after I was married, and then I had less options, because there was someone else to consider.--I wish I had taken the time to do what you're doing now while I was on my own.
ReplyDeleteJanuary is a month of reflection for most of us. Who do you want to be? You, I assume. But what do you want to do with your life? That's a tricky one.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the writing front. Like you I hate finishing things, but it is the one good piece of advice all good professional writers seem to give: just put your bum on the seat and keep going until you finish the story!