Lonely, Writer is Lonely (Big Dreams Blog Update #6)

To preface this post I'd just like to apologize to everyone (Beth, Catherine, Ruth, and J. Lenni) who commented on my last post.  Thank you for the encouraging messages!

One of the points that were made was the inclusion of blog posts and anything I write towards my million word goal.  And it's entirely my fault for just realizing that I haven't posted more information on my goal.  There is now a tab (above!) that amends this grievous mistake.

Basically the whole point of choosing a million word goal is for me to start writing AND completing projects.  I have a problem with completion, so I figure it'd be great motivation for me to stick a project through to the end so I can add it as part of a larger word count total.  Keeping in mind that the first draft will always be worse than a second run-through, third, etc., and I just need to reach the first end and then the real writing can begin.  Dun, dun, dun... the business of Rewriting.

In writing news, I've been at work on a fanfic novella.  I'm obsessed with this Japanese game franchise and I felt compelled to write a story lauding its awesomeness.  I've been steadily chipping away at it since the 16th, and so far so good.

For those of you wondering why fanfiction?  Sometimes its hard to write with the knowledge that the dreck of a first draft you're working on could find its way to an agent and then a publisher from there.  I get itchy just thinking about the stress...  That and fanfiction when posted could provide feedback (positive or negative).  It's not so easy when writing something agent/editor worthy.  We''re talking money here.  A real job.  I don't want to start out on the wrong foot.

But I do want feedback because the loneliness and the uncertainty usually chew away at my resolve and I end up shelving an unfinished story.  Of course that being said I want to work my way to accepting the reviews of strangers.  I'll probably start with my sisters.  Baby steps after all.

Until then it's my fanfic.  The other option is not writing at all, and that's not really an option... -_-

Debut author Janie Crouch* wrote a blog post on first draft blues recently.

The post got me teary-eyed, and I'm not even saying that for effect. I ACTUALLY got all hot and fuzzy in the eye area. I wanted to cry because all us writers know just how lonely it can be.

Well to be more specific, most of the actual first drafting is a solitary behaviour.

To surmise Ms. Crouch's post, she points out the sad truth: No one can start and finish a story for you.

Somehow you gotta get yourself through it. I've went to bed many nights--and I predict many future nights--thinking about how I'll never finish something and I'll save many readers from reading utter crap if I just stop now.  A good night's sleep usually makes the feelings of worthlessness go away, but I have to find a way to finish something some day and I figure the road there probably has huge puddles of my tears.

Actually as of late I don't feel alone.  For those of you who are new and clueless and happen to stumble on this piece of free net property of mine the Big Dreams Blog Hop is hosted by Misha Gericke and Beth Fred.  All of us participants each have writerly goals to reach with the support of each other along the way.  I'm really grateful for all who've commented so far, and left helpful hints and wise words.  Thank you.  Seriously it's great to have a remainder that I'm not entirely alone around here.

That being said I've been neglectful in the commenting bit myself, especially as I know personally how much a little 'hello' (and a virtual smiley) works wonders on a bad day.  I'm also almost done with school over here and after I do plan to pop around here and there...  So yeah, expect me.  Soon.  Creepy blog/site stalker that I am and all.  ;)

EDIT (~20 minutes later after tinkering with GR's 2014 challenge meter):  Just realized I hit the 1/5th mark on my 2014 reading goal of 30 books.  What, what. *dancing*  But I'm 1 book behind schedule, according to the site's calculation...
Pffffft.  Does GR know how hard I've worked? :D  Srsly though.  I'm totally celebrating with a season 2 Suburgatory marathon.  I'll use any excuse to watch some more Georgas.

*Please check out Ms. Crouch's book, Primal Instinct.  It's on my TBR and once I get through it, I'll post my review. :D